{"id":22044,"date":"2024-09-09T03:07:14","date_gmt":"2024-09-09T03:07:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mediashower.com\/blog\/?p=22044"},"modified":"2025-12-15T19:58:48","modified_gmt":"2025-12-15T19:58:48","slug":"how-to-have-better-conversations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mediashower.com\/blog\/how-to-have-better-conversations\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation, From a Professional Interviewer"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><b>TLDR: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In her TED speech viewed by over 30 million people, professional interviewer Celeste Headlee rings an alarm bell about our declining conversation skills. We all like to speak more than we listen, she says. Then, she delivers a handful of tips to help us learn how to have better conversations. According to her, <\/span><b>active listening and genuine curiosity<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> are the cornerstones of communication.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>So what?:&nbsp; <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being able to communicate effectively is an essential life and leadership skill. Conversations can teach surprising things while creating opportunities. Among other benefits, they help us build and maintain relationships, and they support our mental health.<\/span><\/p>\n<hr>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/R1vskiVDwl4?si=KvhaRuJlv9RTaAKY?start=4:49&amp;end=5:03\" width=\"780\" height=\"438\" frameborder=\"&quot;\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cA conversation requires a balance between talking and listening, and, somewhere along the way, we lost that balance.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Celeste Headlee thinks our face-to-face interactions can become moments of genuine, mutually beneficial connection.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Many of us like to talk, but find it hard to listen. We are bad conversationalists, less and less likely to compromise in an ever more polarized world. Our smart devices hurt our communication skills, and good conversations are rapidly becoming a lost art.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Celeste Headlee has some actionable rules you can use to boost your conversational skills. In this post, we unpack her advice and break down her tips to help you get more out of your interactions.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here are some of her best practices for meaningful conversations.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2>Be Present<\/h2>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cThere is no reason to learn how to show you\u2019re paying attention, if you are, in fact, paying attention.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><b>Takeaway: Give your conversation partner your undivided attention.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">According to Celeste Headlee, the most basic rule of a meaningful conversation is to be fully present in it.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don\u2019t fidget with your car keys or phone.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do not let your mind wander.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don\u2019t worry about crafting a reply to your conversational partner.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Just listen. <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/books\/NBK442015\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Active listening<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> creates an environment conducive to full engagement and genuine dialog. It also requires you to put your ego and opinions aside.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you want to leave the conversation, feel free to do so, Celeste recommends. Just don\u2019t pretend to pay attention unless you actually are.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2>Keep an Open Mind<\/h2>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cEveryone you will ever meet knows something you don\u2019t.\u201d \u2013 Bill Nye<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><b>Takeaway: Treat conversations as learning opportunities.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We like to foist our ideas, beliefs, and misplaced sense of self-importance on others. We love to feel smart. We enjoy pontification. To do so, we approach conversations with a <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC8685219\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">confirmation bias<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, unwilling to open up to fresh ideas and perspectives.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don\u2019t try to convince others of your truth. Learn how to listen effectively in conversations and derive lessons from what you hear. Other people know things you don\u2019t. To learn something new from a conversation means to succeed in communication.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you preach and dominate the interaction, you close the learning avenue and deny yourself the chance to gain something from the conversation. You gain nothing meaningful out of convincing someone of your truth.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/R1vskiVDwl4?si=cWnsFsa2k0kdW4_u\" width=\"780\" height=\"438\" frameborder=\"&quot;\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don\u2019t let intrusive thoughts of smart answers and arguments disrupt your active listening.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2>Use Open-ended Questions<\/h2>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cBecause then they might have to stop for a moment and think about it and you\u2019re going to get a much more interesting response.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><b>Takeaway: Probing for deeper answers boosts engagement.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In her TED speech, Celeste Headlee points out that elaborate questions invite simple answers, disrupting the conversational flow. Open-ended questions like \u201cHow did that make you feel?\u201d and \u201cWhat was it like?\u201d provide food for thought, introspection, and engagement.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Open-ended questions are a hallmark of active listening. In addition to prompting deeper and more meaningful engagement, they signal to your conversation partner that you are intellectually invested in the conversation.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">By asking open-ended questions, you don\u2019t assume control of the conversation. You hand its reins back to your conversation partners, allowing them the freedom to define and control its direction.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2>Stay Flexible<\/h2>\n<blockquote><p>\u201c\u2026thoughts will come into your mind and you need to let them go out of your mind.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><b>Takeaway: Don\u2019t give in to the urge to control the conversation.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When we look for ways to assert control over a conversation, we stop listening. Meaningful conversations have flows of their own. They swell and ebb with the participants\u2019 emotional investment and engagement. When you pursue an agenda, you interfere with this flow, derailing the conversation and sabotaging its value.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Letting a conversation take its natural course is difficult for many of us. It means surrendering our preconceptions, letting go of our egos, and leaving our prepared remarks at the door. It requires childlike curiosity and a willingness to learn. It takes an open mind.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The benefits include unexpected insights, conclusions, and opportunities.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<h2>Really Listen<\/h2>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cWhen I\u2019m talking, I\u2019m in control. I don\u2019t have to hear anything I\u2019m not interested in. I\u2019m the center of attention.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><b>Takeaway: Active listening is an indispensable cornerstone of effective communication.&nbsp;<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The art of active listening requires a combination of self-awareness and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/pii\/S1877042812015637\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">emotional intelligence<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. When you really listen to someone, you hear everything that\u2019s said, as well as the emotions behind the words. But there are other tools that you can use to supercharge your listening:&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Body language<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Maintain eye contact, nod, and lean slightly in. Don\u2019t use these indicators to fake attention.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Clarification. <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ask questions about conversation points you find unclear.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Empathy.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Understand and acknowledge the emotions and perspectives of the speaker.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>No interruptions.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Allow the speaker to finish thoughts without interrupting.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Reflectivity. <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Paraphrase and summarize conversation points to ensure thorough understanding.&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It takes effort, energy, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence to listen to someone. It is an intellectual exercise. Without listening, however, you are not in the conversation, concludes Celeste.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-22046\" src=\"http:\/\/mediashower.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/quote-by-Celeste-Headlee.jpg\" alt=\"quote by Celeste Headlee\" width=\"600\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.mediashower.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/quote-by-Celeste-Headlee.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/www.mediashower.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/quote-by-Celeste-Headlee-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.mediashower.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/quote-by-Celeste-Headlee-1024x1024.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.mediashower.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/quote-by-Celeste-Headlee-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.mediashower.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/quote-by-Celeste-Headlee-768x768.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.mediashower.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/quote-by-Celeste-Headlee-50x50.jpg 50w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2>Communicator Takeaways<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here\u2019s how we can sum up Celeste Headlee\u2019s tips for better communication.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Be present<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Focus on your conversation partner exclusively. Avoid interruptions and distractions.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Be open-minded<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Conversations are learning opportunities. Approach them with curiosity and an open mind, and the results may surprise you.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Ask open-ended questions<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Such questions engage your conversation partner, sparking introspection and opening deeper communication channels.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Stay flexible. <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Let the conversation flow. Don\u2019t allow your mind to hijack and sabotage it by taking control.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Prioritize listening. <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Active listening is key to effective communication. Pay attention, connect with underlying emotions, ask questions, engage, and seek to understand.&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<blockquote><p>Want to better communicate your marketing message to the world? The Media Shower platform can help. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mediashower.com\/user\/free_trial\">Click for a free trial<\/a>.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Active listening and genuine curiosity are the cornerstones of communication. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":113,"featured_media":22045,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[459],"tags":[466],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mediashower.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22044"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mediashower.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mediashower.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mediashower.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/113"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mediashower.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22044"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.mediashower.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22044\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25240,"href":"https:\/\/www.mediashower.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22044\/revisions\/25240"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mediashower.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/22045"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mediashower.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22044"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mediashower.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22044"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mediashower.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22044"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}